Stormfront T. Dragon

Old Dragon is Old

2013-03-05T01:28:05Z

In honor of turning three dozen, I offer the following trivia to make you feel just as old as I do:

Mark Hamil is 61. Luke Skywalker is only two years younger than Obi Wan Kenobi was when Star Wars came out.

Ralph Macchio is 51. This means the Karate Kid is now the same age Mr. Miyagi was when the movie came out.

Lisa Whechel is 49. This means one of the Facts of Life girls is only two years younger than one of the Golden Girls was when it premiered.

Alex Winter is 47. Kenau Reeves is 48. Bill and Ted are only four years younger than Rufus was when Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure came out.

Whil Weaton is 40. Wesley Crusher is older than every crew member of The Enterprise except for Picard was when Star Trek the Next Generation premiered.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar is 39. Zach Morris is the same age Mr. Belding was when Saved by the Bell premiered.

The present in Back to the Future (1985) is now almost as far in the past as 1955 was when that movie came out.

2012: The End is Here!

2012-12-22T05:30:05Z

Doubling Down on Crazy

2012-11-16T03:52:02Z

The Georgia GOP takes the prize for craziest explanation of why Romney lost: Soviet mind-control technology!

Georgia GOP Lawmakers Host Briefing On Secret Obama Mind-Control Plot

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2012-10-30T21:47:31Z

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."

Disney To Buy Lucasfilm For $4.05B

Worst Case Scenario: Princess Leia and Amidalia join Disney Princesses line

Best Case Scenario: Disney has Joss Whedon under contract until 2015. Whedon written and directed reboot?

Dragon Rage!

2012-10-28T18:23:49Z

I am so incredibly pissed off right now. I received a piece of mail today from a group calling itself Americans for Limited Government purporting to be a "Vote History Audit" listting me and all of my neighbors and whether or not we voted in the 2004 and 2008 elections, along with a threat to send out a similar report in 2012.

Excuse me, a "vote history audit"? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO PRESUME TO SIT IN JUDGEMENT OF MY DECISIONS WHETHER OR NOT TO VOTE!?!?!

And to make matters worse, you fuck ups didn't even get the information right. You report me as not having voted in 2004. I most certainly did vote in 2004. AT THE ADDRESS I WAS LIVING AT THAT YEAR. So not only are you self righteous pricks being creepy stalkers, but you've also slandered me in front of all of my neighbors by telling lies about me.

Congratulations, I think you just came up with the most effective election mailing ever, because with a single piece of mail, you just cost four Republican cadidates my vote.

Mitt Romney, Aerospace Engineer...

2012-09-25T01:47:23Z

As you may have heard on the news, there was a problem on Ann Romney's plane over the weekend that forced an emergency landing when it filled up with smoke. Talking to reporters about it, Mitt offered his solution to this sort of problem:

When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem.

Hat Tip to Outside the Beltway

Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

2012-09-01T20:24:20Z

Episode 2012: A Sticky Situation

"Quebec, called the 'Saudi Arabia of syrup' by some, produces between 70 and 80% of the world's maple syrup, most of it exported to the United States." And so it was that the syrup producers had gathered to celebrate another successful harvest (cue clip of badly animated french canadian fur trappers and lumberjacks partying next to a lake of syrup), but the party was to be short lived when Patty Larceny syrup-titiously swiped the sought after sugary sauce (giant tanker truck roars in, sucks up the whole lake, and roars off to cries of Sacrebleu!):

$30 Million Worth Of Maple Syrup Stolen In Quebec

Patty is now on the run with All the Syrup in Canada, and the pancake eaters of the world are depending on you to get it back!

Gumshoes! You mission is to arrest Patty, recover All the Syrup in Canada, and CAPTURE CARMEN SANDIEGO!

Not Appreciated at All

2012-08-02T01:56:36Z

Decided to "celebrate" Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day buy taking my business to one of their competitors. I bought a chicken sandwhich from the Wendy's down the street. Because Wendy's asagio ranch chicken club is a way better sandwhich and doesn't come with a side of bigotry.

Good news: Wendy's has those new Squeeze and Dip ketchup tubs that are way better than the tiny ketchup packets you normally get.

Bad news: The lot at the Chick-Fil-A was packed and the drive through line was actually overflowing into the Applebee's next door.

That Awkward Moment of Self Recognition...

2012-07-28T19:36:09Z

From Catch-22:

It was obvious to the chaplain now that he was not particularly well suited to his work, and he often speculated whether he might not be happier serving in some other branch of the service, as a private in the infantry or field artillery, perhaps, or even as a paratrooper. He had no real friends. Before metting Yossarian, there was no one in the group with whom he felt at ease, and he was hardly at ease with Yossarian, whose frequent rash and insubordinate outbusts kept him almost constantly on edge and in an ambiguuous state of enjoyable trepidation. The chaplain felt safe when he was at the officers' club with Yossarian and Dunbar, and even with just Nately and McWatt. When he sat with them he had no need to sit with anyone else; his problem of where to sit was solved, and he was protected against the undesired company of all those fellow officers who invariably welcomed him with excessive cordiality when he approached and waited uncomfortably for him to go away. He made so many people uneasy. Everyone was always very friendly toward him, and no one was ever very nice; everyone spoke to him, and no one ever said anything.

Penn State

2012-07-24T00:24:13Z

Inspired by a comment I read today.

Andy Griffith vs. The Patriot Act

2012-07-04T00:42:41Z

Hat tip to The Agitator

How to Tell You Own Too Many Books...

2012-06-08T00:17:07Z

*Stormy Dragon finishes reading Catch-22 and tries to decide what to read next.*

Well, maybe I should read this Game of Thrones book I keep hearing about on the news.

*Stormy Dragon goes to Amazon.com to look it up*

Hmm... George R. Martin... wait a minute, why does that name sound familiar...

*Stormy Dragon goes over to M section of the bookcases and discovers a copy of Game of Thrones sitting on the shelf.*

D'OH! C8O

">:| How the fuck do you find this shit?!"

2012-05-10T14:34:57Z

Show me... Mr. Rogers flipping off a bunch of kids on national television...

Hat Tip to Cracked.com

Uggh

2012-05-02T00:07:44Z

I've been feeling kinda nauseous all day. Not actually sick, but one of those low grade "bleh" feelings where you know you'd feel better if you could just throw up. Unfortunately I just don't seem to be able to...

In order to recognize the American spirit of loyalty and the sacrifices that so many have made for our Nation, the Congress, by Public Law 85-529 as amended, has designated May 1 of each year as "Loyalty Day." On this day, let us reaffirm our allegiance to the United States of America, our Constitution, and our founding values.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim May 1, 2012, as Loyalty Day. This Loyalty Day, I call upon all the people of the United States to join in support of this national observance, whether by displaying the flag of the United States or pledging allegiance to the Republic for which it stands.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this first day of May, in the year of our Lord two thousand twelve, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-sixth.

*BLEEEEEAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH*

Oh God, I feel so much better now.

Awesome McCoolname

2012-04-26T23:24:24Z

Just wanted to share this article:

School of hard knocks' lessons

Not for anything in the article itself. I just love the fact there's a person in this world named Sgt. Christian Pagan.

I Crack Me Up

2012-04-17T23:29:09Z

From a discussion of a news report about Newt Gingrich getting bitten by a penguin:

Stormy Dragon says: Now I’m picturing Newt gradually turning into the Batman villain.
John Peabody says: Has anyone ever seen Newt and Burgess Meredith in the same photograph? Just sayin’.
Stormy Dragon says: That’s the problem with Newt, really: he thinks he’s a Brugess Meredith, but he’s really just a Danny Devito.

Hat Tip to Outside the Beltway

How Things Have Changed

2012-04-10T01:34:11Z

Mike Wallace news report from 1967 on "The Homosexual Dilemma"

By Wall That Is Holey

2012-03-15T20:48:53Z

Had to take time off work...

In Memoriam...

2012-03-01T04:54:45Z

RIP Davey Jones, you never got the respect your talent deserved, but there was a reason you were on the first album I ever bought.

Another piece of childhood gone...

For Johnny Cash's Birthday (February 26)

2012-02-28T03:13:12Z

The Johnny Cash Project is a living crowdsourced music video for The Man in Black's final single "Ain't No Grave". Thousands of people were randomly assigned frames from the footage used for the video and asked to provide an artistic interpretation of the contents. The various frames are rated by the community and at any given time, the highest rated frame at each slot is used to compose the current version of the video:

Hat Tip to The Agitator

My Politics in a Nutshell...

2012-02-18T03:50:03Z

An Interesting Point

2012-01-20T03:18:10Z

Yesterday, during the big SOPA/PIPA protests, we had a bunch of corporations spending money both directly and in-kind to send out a message critizing members of the House of Representatives and the Senate by name for their support of a particular law. This was done within 30 days of primary elections in which some of those people are running, which means under the terms of McCain-Feingold, they were engaged in electioneering communications.

Which means that yesterday's protest would have been illegal had the much-maligned Citizens United Ruling gone the other way.

JibJab 2011 Year in Review

2011-12-21T07:52:41Z

Irony

2011-12-03T00:53:41Z

From a column about the NY Times coverage of the city's first gay pride march in 1972:

In the back of the line of march had been a contingent in black leather. I’d been curious and asked who they were.

“We’re the Eulenspiegel Society,” one told me. They took their name from a medieval prankster hanged for his mischief and immortalized in the Richard Strauss tone poem.

And so?

Well, he went on, they were a self-help group of sadists and masochists.

And which exactly were they? I asked.

Oh, he told me cheerfully, they were the masochists.

I had to ask. Why were they marching?

He delivered his answer deadpan.

“For better treatment.”

Hat Tip to The Volokh Conspiracy

After the Fall

2011-11-07T00:21:56Z

People who know me well are probably aware that one of my biggest character flaws is that I'm extremly cynical and alienated. It just seems to me that the older I get, the more it seems that there is nothing truly noble or virtuous in this world; everything that seems to be is just a facade and believing in anyone or anything just leads to eventual betrayal when their true nature is finally revealed.

It's a lesson that was underscored for me yet again this weekend, as one of the few things I still had any faith in turned out to be built upon horrors that even I couldn't have imagined. I have, since I was a little kid, been a follower of Penn State football. My dad graduated from the University and as I was growing up, some of my most cherished memories involve weekend trips to Penn State games. As I grew up, I eventually went to the university myself. I'm a season ticket holder and do my best to make it to two or three games a year. I actually (quite foolishly as it turned out), believed all that "Success with Honor" crap. That this was one of the few major programs that still believed that winning doesn't mean anything if you don't win the right way, and that at the end of the day, character matters more points.

And then this Friday that all came crumbling down:

Sandusky Charged In Child Molestation Case, Curley And Senior Admin Charged With Perjury

For more than a decade, a sexual predator was using the program to lure children so that he could rape them, first as an assitant coach and then through a children's charity. The university knew of this and covered the whole thing up. And aside from those legally responsible for this is a larger group of people who seem to have done the minimum legally required and then washed their hands of it, when basic morality would suggest they had a duty to do far more to stop this.

And while the biggest tragedy here is certainly the children who were victimized, on a smaller level I'm incredibly angry that these people had to destroy something I cared deeply about. To take something that was great and make it just like everything else in this crappy world.

And once again I feel another corner of idealism roughly round off. I grow a little more suspicious, a little more bitter, and a little more angry, and I'm sure it will continue until there's nothing left. "To steel the heart against itself ... is a stern task of soul: - No matter, - it is taught."